Friday, October 30, 2009

Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Not that I am big on posting political crap...but this made me burst out laughing.

Bug of the week # 1



Starting a new weekly series here...
Let me start by saying...GAHHHHHHH!!!! but I guess I can view this as some sort of demented therapy towards bugs. This one does not fall under the creepy category...more the HOLY SHIT!! category.

The Asian, or Japanese hornet is the largest and most fearsome hornet in the world. It can be as big as 3.5 inches long, and its stinger is over 6 mm in length (a quarter of an inch!).

The venom from this hornet contains an enzyme which will dissolve bone and tissue, and can be fatal if the person stung is small, or has an allergic reaction. More than 40 people are killed each year by stings from this hornet. Those who have been stung and lived have described its sting as excrutiatingly painful.

Pumkins


I wish I had the imagination to make these kind of pumkins for Halloween.
Very clever!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

New Deoderant

I got this new deodorant today.
The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.

Cockroach record?

Sean Murphy, an employee at Preuss Pets in Lansing, has unofficially broken a world record.

Murphy successfully managed to fit 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches into his mouth for a total of 10 seconds Friday night at the Old Town pet store. The current world record is 11 cockroaches.

"My first thought was I can beat that" said Murphy. "Eleven doesn't seem like that many."

Murphy initially stopped at 12 cockroaches and waited the official 10 seconds, but then continued until he reached 16.

"I've never gotten it in one try so that was a big surprise," he said. "Let's see if anyone can match that within the next year and maybe next Halloween I'll shoot for 20."

Murphy is waiting for a response from Guinness World Records, which he expects in a matter of weeks.

"As far as an unofficial record, I have it." he said.


Congratulations!! you have given me the Heebie Jeebies for a week...WTF is wrong with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I would rather have 4 inch hockey pucks in my cheeks!
via

Large Bald Man

I am on the first floor....Moron!!!
Come on! If you are going to bitch at me then get your facts straight!

WTF of the week # 11

This has to be "the winner"
How will I ever find one to top this. As if the hockey pucks aren't enough, but to shave the reverse mohawk with a MULLET to boot!

In some twisted way, I want to see this guy take the cheek pucks out...then eat some mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and drink a big glass of milk.

Mom must be soooo proud.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Nerdlings

I guess I am a level 40 human.
Str 12 Wis 11 Int 9

Not much of an upgrade from level 1...damn

Fanny Farm

The real funny part to this, for all the Americans who do not know....
A fanny in America has a COMPLETELY different meaning than it does to the Brits and Aussies.
We Americans think of a fanny being a polite kind of way to say butt or ass.

Across the pond, they refer to a fanny as a bit more intimate part of the female anatomy.
Any Brits or Aussies can post it in the comment section, so I don't have to be the one to say pussy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

In light of the Combover

I haven't ranted and griped about combovers in a month or so...so here is 2 posts in a row!
STOP IT!!!
SHAVE YOUR HEADS!!!!!

Walmart folks

Not real sure what this is...Very bad tupee? Hair roots growing out on a crazy level?
Who knows...but it is funny looking.

I have seen the emails of the people of Walmart but a friend showed me the website.
So I will now how a new set of tags dedicated to the Walmart folks.

The Mullet

Y'uns hold mah beer, and watch this!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Redneck kids

Sounds about right.

Mind Blown

Not sure it actually blows your mind...
just like, I have yet, to ever shit a brick from all the shitbrix posts I have seen.
Really it is like saying...
:) isnt a colon and parenthesis ...it is a Smiley...
ohhh mind = blown!!!
And we all know what this is..... ( o )( o )

But I still thought this was kind of cool anyhow.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Only because it is Halloweenie time

I am not real big on promoting silly sites...but this one is FUN.
You can Zombify yourself.
Click here to zombie up a pic.

Life Sucks

I'm hanging in there as best I can dammit!!!

Pirates

I know it is an awful joke...
But my son told me that one like 5 years ago and I still think it is funny.

WTF of the week # 10

I can't even come up with something clever to say here.
I just wonder why the guys in the back left aren't running yet.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Illusions

This one is great!
Perfect freak occurance in a photo.
Very cool.
Click the pic to make it bigger.

King of the jungle

Who is going to tell him that he is being impolite?

I am your father

Ahh the original iPod... Walkman not included.
The good old days where you had a 6 song limit per side. The sweet hiss of the end of the tape.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

Duck's Ass

What do they mean "tight as a ducks ass? I can't see it..."

"I can...it is watertight!"

Stupid Magnets

Dead on acurate.
At least if you pay 5 bucks for this, you truly know where your money went....
The same place it goes for all the other ones...in someones pocket.

Lump

Stickin to the boobee theme...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

WTF of the week # 9

What TF is wrong with people?
That shirt would be tacky on an 18 year old without his daughter next to him.
Stupid REDNECKS!

Fairy Tale

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End.

Sick

My apologies for lack of posts the last few days.
I was ill with some mutant deadly super virus...if it keeps me in bed, then it must be the worst virus known to man...made of kryptonite or something.
But have no fear...I survived it, I know you were all on the edge wondering if I was ok.
I LIVED!!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Halloween's almost here

My first naughty Halloween picture... BooBees!!

please dont throw tomatoes and stuff at me...I know it is an old bad joke...but still makes me smile...heck, anything with boobees makes me smile!

Complete Stop

Only in Texas my friends...Only in Texas ....Too bad...

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York

and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX .

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."


The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.

License and registration, please!" the Deputy repeats.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop,

I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket.

If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts

beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says,

"Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

R vs. D

Differences In Outlook


If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his
enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly lives his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, he sees himself as independently
successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of
government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.

via

Sorry...had too..

Just know that for everyone of you who look at this and gag or scream or just plain "freak out"...
I am laughing my ass of at you!
Santa is watching you!!
you better not pout.... you better not cry...you better not scream...I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

New Girlfriend

Never realized that Darth Vader fished as much as he has...he is the best at baiting a hook.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Popped Collars

And PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!!
While your'e at it...turn your hat the correct way!

WTF of the week # 8

Seriously?
I cant even begin on this one...the lower lip is classic.

M R Ducks

Is it evil to laugh at this??
I have seen some pictures that are brutally gross...seen bad accidents...even transvestites.
None of those made me feel as AWFUL as this picture sequence.
But still kind of funny...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Wow...hot...uhhh

Keep looking if you don't notice right away...snicker..snicker
I wont get into the ...priceless...or shit bricks thing.
I'll just laugh my ass off.


Make a point

I am in awe at the artistry of this. Not that it looks like art, but to come up with the idea to write that on the counter. What better way to get the point across...It is beautiful!
So much better than just bitching someone out or leaving in a huff...anymore they dont care. But I can damn sure bet the waitress was pissed off while she cleaned this mess. And if they just made a mess, it would never have had the same impact....So perfect!!
Hope the manager saw it too.
Wish I had thought of it.

Drew Peacock

If you don't get it right away...keep saying it out loud until you do.
That is great!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dog on the crapper

I doubt this picture is real..
But all of us who have to walk dogs can appreciate the thought.
And it is pretty darn funny!


Monday, October 5, 2009

Mr. T

One of my heroes!
I think Mr. T is about one of the coolest guys from hollywood...he never let it go to his head, and he is one of the few people who are what they say. He IS about the kids...he IS about his momma.
Oh yeah and he fought cancer too!

PE Man!

Better than the one who takes forever to get there!

Mind Job

I am still having trouble with this.
Excellent photoshop to really make your head hurt!
If you don't see it right away...keep looking.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Irish Towel Waving

How To Get Your Wife To Climax – Irish Style

Some years ago, Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community.

After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.

So, to resolve the problem and since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in the village, they went to see the Veterinarian.

The Vet didn’t have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his mother and father would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding, with a big towel.
This would cool her down and make her relax.

So the Vet told Paddy and Maggie to hire a strong, virile young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from Dublin to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.

After many efforts, Maggie still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet.

The Vet said for her to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Paddy waved the big towel.

They tried it that night and Maggie went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.

When it was over, Paddy looked down at the exhausted young man and, in a boasting voice, said: “And that, me son, is how ya waves a towel.”

Winter

I love this pic. Mainly because none of those are my cars.
Just a reminder, winter is almost here...woohooo!

Bug Religion

And when'ah, the that virgin ladybug'ah, had the immaculate conception'ah, of her 2,341 offspring'ah...there was one'ah...that crawled away from the rest'ah...and he was named the drone of all drones!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Crack Kills!

ROTFLMAO!!
Oh there is definately a special place for me in hell!

WTF of the week #7

The purple eyebrows just so complete the look! If we had wings, had wings, had wings....
Only those that spent time at Disney World get that.

High fiv...uh...

So mean, yet so funny!
I figure when I spend my time in hell, it is going to be with tattoos and piercings all over my face, I will weigh 600lbs and be starving with missing fingers.....so far.
With more posts I am sure it will be worse.

Booom!

I can almost hear and feel the concussion of this.
SO DAMN COOL!!!
I can almost hear Tim Allen grunting too.