Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Exactly!

There are so very many people out there who need to pay close attention to this!

You don't NEED a giant SUV...a $1500 car will get you from A to B
You don't NEED a XBOX 360...go play outside!
You don't NEED a $250,000 house...the $85,000 will work just as well.
You don't NEED a Blackberry...the house phone works too.

I think you guys get the point.

You don't NEED to be $300,000 in debt...you can try just getting what is needed and you probably won't have any debt.

Champagne tastes on a beer budget gets you in trouble every time....Fuck the Jones's...they can have their debt...I like being debt free.

OK...one more

Sorry I could not resist...one last Christmas post.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Last Christmas post this year

I couldn't help but post this one.
Nothing shows the reason for the season more than a stuffed squirrel on a trailer hitch!

Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And a stuffed squirrel on a trailer hiiiiiitch.


Not working babe...

No matter how hard you try to look sexy with your beer, it just won't work.
If I know you could kick my ass in arm wrestling just by looking at you, I will not get turned on.
The manicured nails and make-up are juuuuusst not quite pulling my eyes away from your pipes.

Ya might wanna ease up on the weights a little if you want to achieve a sexier look.
OK, Helga?

Now please dont come beat me up.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas to you ALL!

Just in case I don't get to post later...

Merry Christmas
to all of you!!!

I hope your Holiday was great!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Blink

Click on the comic so it gets full size for the full effect.

Just thought it was funny.

WTF of the week # 18

Not real sure what was happening at this concert..
My best guess is that it is a Christmas "Jesus" celebration.
Judging by his posture, he is playing "Do you hear what I hear"
followed up with "do you smell what I smell"
Must have been one helluva show!


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Heart Rate # 7

If the newspaper article is true... then this one should make us good for a month or two.

Soooo evil

It seems to have worked out, that I always post a pic like this, just before I do a HeartRate pic.

Hmmm, I guess you just have to take the bad with the good. Enjoy noticing the dark area BELOW the panties...the same panties that seem to have wedged up beyond cameltoedom into holding the roll in place... you can almost smell the fact that she can't reach to wipe properly.

I am so sorry for pointing this stuff out to you all, but....ROFLMAO!!!

Just securing my spot in hell a little more.

Frosty

I thought this one was kind of funny.

Merry Christmas !

Christmas Lights

I think I will hang my lights like this next year.

What? It is a festive Christmas ball!

Not lazy....extra creative.

You are just mad because you didn't think of it.

Friday, December 18, 2009

How does that smell?

Huh?? How does it smell, PUNK!!
Now, how about you lay down and take a nap...
Before I make you smell it again!

I refuse to say PWNED, because that is some stupid thing from Halo or something of a misspell of OWNED.

But I will say BoooooYah !!!

I am such a dork....


Merry Christmas!

Nothing brings out the Christmas spirit like a big hairy asscrack!
I just hope that is a guy.

You are welcome.

And to all a good night.

So mean

It is what parents think but dare not say.
Mean but funny as hell, if you don't find that funny, then your not a parent or you act like a parent who is the perfect prim and proper..."oh I love my kids" "they never do anything to make me mad"
"I would never think like that"
BULLSHIT
you just refuse to make a joke and verbalize it...have fun at church...hypocrite

Wow, I kind of went all blog-rage there....seems I have issues...oh well I will get over it in 3 minutes.

Anyway, I thought this cartoon was very funny!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Heart Rate # 6

Lucy Pinder...
Looks like alot of airbrushing...I dont care
Still hot.

WTF of the week # 17


This does not look photoshopped, but I certainly hope it was..
If she really held that baby like that, she deserves to be hung up herself.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ode to Shay

Here I lie on water like glass,
Like Shay I have a small, little ass.

Contemplating life, since I am in a rut.
Just like Shay rubbing my nice little gut.

Feeling the breeze with my body so bare,
again like Shay, on my head there is no hair.

This pad is ok, I wish for a log,
So I could stand up and yell, SHAY IS A FROG!


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What is that smell?

Hmmm smells like you have been eating a little bit of hay...some oats...and a lot of veggies...
Wait wait what is that smell...YOU HAD TACO BELL!!!
You could have warned me!

WTF is that elephant doing...for real...that is just nasty!

Oh yeah....warning! nasty picture. Guess that was a little late.

Another Durex ad

This one is great.
Note, that it is for Durex Extra Large.

Horses everywhere faint with envy.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Retarded SUV's

BMW X6


Suzuki X90

If you have seen the BMW in person you would realize what an awful looking vehicle it is.
Maybe not as bad as the X90 but bad anyway.

SUPER-Mullet

Not only a super-mullet...but old gray stripes too.
I am in awe...the gray strips just make the whole thing work.

Hard Rock Cafe!!!
Hell yeah duuude!!
You rule!!

Business up front and PARTAAAY in the back!!!

Smooth

I'm gonna say it... We all know, but I MUST verbalize it....
...
...
Woman driver!

I imagine the cement workers loved this...hour or two getting her cruiser out, then have to fill and re-smooth... Tax Payer dollars at work.


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Owww

I know it is nasty...but hey, would you expect any less of me???
If I didn't post this kind of stuff, it would be all kittens and puppies...and boobies.
I have to put something out there to counter-effect the heart-rate posts.

Sorry if you are squeamish...

not really.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Durex Ad

Durex has some very clever ads out there, and most of them will never be allowed in the US... This one should be allowed.

For those who don't know...Durex is a brand of condom.

Kind of like the video of the kid in the supermarket screaming non-stop, and the caption is...
"another reason for birth control"

Kenny's Sister?

Not sure if this is marginally sexy or not.
But wierd none-the-less.

All I can think, is Kennyette...

Opinions

Guess this means that I am going to get popped in the nose soon.
I certainly tend to voice my opinion more than I should.
Guess that is why a silly blog works for me....come on Aussies or Canadians...come pop me in the nose.
Muhahahahaha
I should start being mean to them since they can't.

Nah, not really my style...I will stick to dogging out the dorks with hockey pucks in their faces!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Heart Rate # 5

Definately will get the heart rate up...whew.

Guys I need 15 mins please, and a towel.

WTF of the week # 16

Not that she is some smoking hot babe, but she is a attractive girl...I am sure she could do better.

I mean look what that crap has done to the shape of his nose.
What is wrong with people.

Have fun with that in 20 years.


Christmas sweetness

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Take a cup eggnog, and pour in 3 cups of sugar, add a bottle of vanilla extract, then top it off with a sprinkle of nutmeg...ahh christmas sweetness...gag. Its enough to make "normal" people sick.

Did we make a ginger bread house and eat chestnuts by the fire too?

Im betting they are some kind of computer geeks, making a super sweet Christmas picture to compensate for something...being computer geeks probably.

Really?!?
Who does this crap???

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

You got that right

Why is it, that on TV everyone makes it out like the guys are the ones not wanting action?
Seems to me it is the other way around.
These shows depect the woman as some horny crazed woman whose man doesn't want any. They would rather watch the game or play on the PC...BULLSH*T. If any of you women don't believe me...stand naked next to your man and say "wanna go in the bedroom?" Guarantee they will be on the bed naked before the words finish coming out of your mouth.


For my Homophobic friend...

The Mankini...
The hairy one in the middle just does it for me.

For all of you who are considering the eye bleach or looking at the sun... just be glad I didn't post the ones with the frontal view.

I so love being mean with pictures...blogging is great!

Flare Art

Just thought this looked pretty awesome.
The way the smoke looks like an eagle and if you didn't know they were flares it almost looks like a plane shooting down another plane.

America....F**K Yeah!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Ya Think?!?

And to think, that I know someone who believes that I support the Multi-Billion dollar porn industry all by myself. Guess if I quit looking I might have a little more money, even though I will never pay for what can be found for free.

Wait a minute.... if I have never paid for it, and I am the only guy on the planet looking at porn....must be sponsors paying them the billions.

If the government could figure out how to make Catholic Porn we could clear the deficit. Two biggest moneymakers combined...they could make TRILLIONS!!!

ahhh the sarcasticist is an artist to be sure.

Even worse clown

Creep Factor 200.

Siren, if you thought that other one would give you nightmares...this will give you perma-insomnia.

It is like some evil Danny Devito clown who was on acid while he put his makeup on.

I am going to have to try to make myself up as some demented clown like this, next Halloweenie.

Lifetime member

Yeah...I might join.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Pubic Hare

I think this pic has rolled around the web for a while, but since I started the blog I didn't run into it until now.
Frickin funny!
Great self-defense mechanism though...even dogs would probably avoid it.

Cool Art

Rocket propulsion system is a little strange, but the cool factor makes up for it.
The ground being broken is a nice touch too.
Very cool sculpture!

Nomastabatasaur

Poor T-rex, no fapping for you!
Maybe that is why they were so mean.

Friday, December 4, 2009

So very true

In light of my previous post...
I have read the series...they are good books.
But WTF, are we this desperate for some sort of "Beetlemania" that women/girls get crazy over a series of vampire books.

I wonder how it would come across if there were a group of grown men with pictures of Bella and all going crazy for her...would be weird, is what.

I feel guilty watching Heroes and thinking Hayden Panettiere is hot, even though she is 20 years old, she plays a teen on the show. Which would then bring me to the Mary Kate Letourneau thing...If she were a man she would have been crucified.

Welcome to Double Standard Land! Equal Rights my ASS!

OK...Rant over.

Edward's dog

It must be half vampire...the sun is burning holes right through!
Poor puppy, I bet he didn't have a choice on whether or not to be related to the Cullen's.

Before all of you Twilight fans go apeshit on me....I KNOW...the sun does not affect them like that.
It is a joke.
Relax.
It is just a series of books made into movies.
Relax.
They are not real, you have no chance of EVER hooking up with "Jacob" or "Edward" they dont exist.
And the actors won't hook up with you either...they are probably both gay anyhow.

Besides...the closest thing to the "perfect man" has been taken, and spends to much time on this blog. All the rest of them, will get fatter as they get older, alot of them are real turds, they will not be romantic from now until eternity...you will be lucky if you get a card more than twice a year, let alone romance and eternal vampiric bliss....

Now get me a beer Bitch!

Oh, I feel some hate mail-a-comin.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Frosty playing catch

Since we all know what a brown noser Frosty was...now Santa is making it easy for him.

My, what a big hole you have, Santa...
My, what a big hole you have, Santa...
My, what a big hole you have, Santa...

When they make toys like this, don't they have to be sent in for some kind of approval?
You might think someone would have noticed how this looks.

They were shooting the video for "2 Christmas Icons and 1 fire" Wonder how many videos of people gagging we will get to see from this.

Heart Rate # 4

Nice tattoo...it doesn't look photoshopped, what are you talking about...
She just really likes my blog! That or her Big Polish Lover...for those that cant figure that out the M would stand for My.
Btw, got to love the corset...slightly tighter than i would prefer, but still looks good.
I also figured I better post something from the front or you guys might think I have preferences... which I do.

Oh yeah, Heart Rate

WTF of the week # 15

The blue boots just completely make the outfit work.
Without those he would just be a freak.
I thought John Leguizamo in Spawn was the freakiest clown ever...until now.
This is the crap nightmares are made from.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Sarcasticist

I am now going to label myself a veteren Sarcasticist.

To the experienced Sarcasticist, there can be nothing more satisfying than making your boss shut down completely due to your superior sarcasm skills!

When he/she asks you to do something, and you can say "I would love to! just please remove all my other work and I will hop right on that!" all with a charming smile.

Sarcasm is a skill that is so underrated. Anyone can be sarcastic...but it takes skill to be good at it. The underskilled use statements like "yeah right" or "whatever" that is the best they have. Yes that may shutdown you 13 year old boyfriend, but it will never work on parents or bosses.

Perfect examples: Drywallers or window tinters...yes we can all put up drywall or tint car windows, but I would be safe in saying, most of us would suck at it...but a skilled drywaller or tinter makes it look easy and do a beautiful job. This is why we pay them good money to do that for us.

So where is the profession for me? I have taken sarcasm to an artform and I am highly skilled, now I just need to figure out how to get paid for it.

I suppose the millions I make from a silly blog should be enough to support me until I find that job.

Shay

Dedicated to my son

Last night my son had his first wrestling match against another school.
He had to wrestle as an exhibition after the matches since he was an alt for the 171 lb.
Because it was exh. he wrestled a 184 lb.
My son pinned the bigger kid with a full on teabag like shown above.

If only I had my camera at the ready...they rested on the opponents chin...perfect teabag!!

Makes a father SO proud!!!!

Gut Check Aisle 3

I would just love to see what they see when they look in the mirror.
I am not skinny by any means but at least i know if my stomach is exposed.
Seriously, WTF!?!
How can you not know?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

More Christmas Lights

Saw this on a few of the other blogs...makes me laugh every time.

And it begins...

I will start off the Christmas season with my first set of "lights of note"
The Super Redneck Christmas!!!
A+ for creativity !

Outrun this

All I can say is... Sweeeeet!

SFY

Sucks For You!
Must have been about a 20 year old trying to change a tire. At what point when the door started bending, did he/she think it was ok to keep going?
Just like when I get a call from a 19 year old saying "I locked my keys in the car, what do I do?"
You do what everyone has been doing since door locks were invented...get a coat hanger.
"how?"
REALLY?!?!?!

Fathers...educate you kids on cars......PLEASE!!!

My son and daughter know how to change a tire, jump start a car, change spark plugs and even change disc brakes.