Friday, February 26, 2010

Redneck Doorbell

Leave it to a neck to come up with this one.
I think it is funny as hell, but would NEVER do it myself.
Would be even funnier if you heard either a deer moan, or fart instead of a chime when you press the button.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Excellent Sarcasticist Cake!!!

Wish I had thought of it...definately right up my alley.
About 3-4 years ago I caught some grief from Mrs. X about not wanting to let our daughter go to a baby shower for one of her 15 year old friends from school. Really!?! celebrating a 15 year old having a baby?!?...great mom she must have. This was the first of 3 in the next 1 1/2 years.

These 16 year olds seem to think it is so cool...let me know what you or your parents think 2 years later, when you are either dealing with that baby or you have made it's granparents raise it.

Babies are not "trendy" they are human lives. QUIT BEING STUPID!!!!
While you are at it...pull up your pants, stop throwing wannabe gang signs, turn your hat straight and stop the duckface!

It must just be a sign that I am getting old...don't old people bitch about the newer generation all the time? ....SIGH....


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Jesus is everywhere


I have held onto this photo for about 5 months now, from when I found it.
It makes me laugh way to hard every time I see it...I know I will burn for this one too.

It just strikes me as hysterical because of all the hype from the 90's about spotting Jesus or Mary EVERYWHERE. I used to live 20 miles from Clearwater FL, when the church had a stain on it that was supposed to be the Virgin Mary...

Seriously...that is an awful big stretch to have thousands of people come to worship or whatever they did. Look how many are at the bottom of this photo... are we that desperate as a nation for a sign? Get a grip folks. The best part was the headlines later on..."Youth's destroy the head of Miraculous Virgin Mary appearance, by throwing a rock through the glass."

Now all of those sheeple can go and look at dog buttholes for their religious needs.

I am SO gonna have a special spot reserved for me.

The elusive Derp Fish

One of those very rare photos of the elusive Derp Fish..
And apparenty it is holding a different breed of Derp Fish in its hands.

They belong together... DERP DERP DERP!

Wally world

How people dress in public never ceases to amaze me.
Do we really need spandex shorts at her age? Does she realy need to wear a shirt that lets the belly and shorts belly show?
Does she really need to be on her tippy toes to see whats up there?

Do I need to keep posting stuff that requires eye bleach?....yes I do...but no to the rest.


Monday, February 22, 2010

Good Mobday

To obly hear bis guy talk woulb be great.
And to watch him take a sib ob a drink woulb bbe woberful.

Seriously..WTF?!? Mush Mouth from Fat Albert would have to talk clearer than this guy.
The "I am an idiot" expression on his face says a whole lot.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Holy Moly!

I know Holy Moly is some antiquated term from the 19-whatevers, but it is what I said out loud to myself when I saw this.

And for all of you women who see this and say to yourself..."that is just ridiculous" or "those are fake" or "that just doesn't even look good".

Maybe...but we like
who cares
most guys think it does.

But, of course the guys who have their significant other right next to them are agreeing with her.

"Yeah baby, who would like a hot girl in a skimpy bikini with huge balloons...pffft that's gross"

Well at least I made myself laugh.... Heartrate

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Gas Grill

Ever been cooking on your grill and about 10 minutes in, you run out of gas...with half cooked food?

Here is a very innovative solution. Food may taste a bit gamey, but at least you can finish cooking it.

Funny concept, but I don't think I would do what he did for the picture. Seems like one of those Johnny Knoxville ideas to me. Also not to cool, with a 5 year old watching.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

6 step escalator

Seems a ramp might have done the trick if it were for the handicapped. If this was not built for the handicapped, then it is a sad state for whatever mall this is in.

Not convinced that this is in America though, but America is the easy scapegoat for lazy.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

WTF of the week # 21

Not sure how much is costume and how much is real.
Doesn't matter because the creepy factor is really high.
Imagine coming out of a bar on to a dark road with a good buzz going and you turn the corner and almost bump into this group....then they all smile at you.

I would either start laughing at them or run in a panicked fear...depending on the level of buzz.

Just a few questions

First and foremost....why?
Does she think she is hot enough to pull this off?
If not...does she not realize her cheeks are showing?
If so...who is telling her she can go in public showing her many layers?

What is wrong with people???

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Cupcake!!!!

Muuuust haaaave cuuupcake!!!!!
That is all somebody needs...a Jack Russel hopped up on a sugar rush.
Wouldn't that cause a time rift or black hole or something?

Had to post it, just for the awwww cute factor.

Will work for food

Ahh the good ole days when they used to say "will work for food"
Since we all knew that was BS, because if you said..."hey I'll give you 20 bucks to mow my lawn"...they declined because they could make way more begging.

This one is a very clever sign...good for a laugh so he will get some money. Not from me....but he will get money.

Clue: Stop giving them money and they stop begging!!!

I will refrain from the full on rant here...but they piss me off...but not nearly as bad as the ones giving them money so they stay even longer.

I mean DAMN I don't live on the street and I can not find a fricking marker that works...let alone works well enough to write legibly on cardboard and not run out by the end of the sign...WTF???

Babysitter

Who needs a babysitter....just use duct tape!
Only thing missing is the piece across the mouth... but I guess that would be child abuse.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tiger man



Dennis Smith...for those who are curious....he is of the extreme variety.

Tiger...Tigger... Think his bottom is made out of a spring? His head is definitely made out of rubber. (if you dont get the reference... here sheesh I have to do all the work so everyone can keep up with me...)

Anyway..I saw this guy on Ripley's BoN some years ago...he looked bad then...now he has surpassed freak status into alien being. I can't figure out where he is getting the money for all of the surgeries...what does he do for a living looking like that?
"Thhhhhank You for... MEOW... calling Jewelry Television... RAWR... may I helppppurrrrr you?"

WTF? just doesn't cover it.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Dealing with stupidity

The old west had to be great...if you were stupid you probably got shot.
You would damn sure not run your mouth like they do now.

Ah the good ole days...say "whatever" to you dad...you lose some teeth.
Walk away muttering out of the back of your neck...a remote or shoe hit you in the skull.

Gotta love hearing your kids say "they told me in school that if you spank me you will go to jail."

Yay DHS!!! Making our society better each day.

How many things are wrong with this picture?

I have no problem with guys going to some gay convention or whatever... I assume thats what this is, by the guys holding hands, rainbow balloons and...oh yeah the guy in the assless chaps looking like the village people.

But I do have a major issue with subjecting your child be either boy or girl at ANY age bearing witness to you in a pair of assless chaps and a speedo. Dont care that the kid is at the convention...just that he has to look at his dad's ass.

My son is 17 if I wanted to wear this outfit, I certainly wouldn't do it in front of him.

Friday, February 5, 2010

GTFO !!!

See...even a bird seems to know when to say GTFO. I am sick of getting worms and grasshoppers for you ALL day long to continue hearing your little tweeting attitude. Go get your own job and make your own nest...GTFO!!!

For those of you who cannot figure out what GTFO means...dad...just go to google and type it in and search.

So, to all of you high and mighty holy rolling "I am a better parent than you"...it is basic animal instinct to throw your teens out the door...stop judging and try to make your child a more productive part of society instead of a whiny little xbox bitch!

rant over for now.

Smartass

Holy Crap! where is this company? I must apply, I am sure I could achieve VP status in a very short time.

Like I always say and hear..."Better to be a Smart Ass than a Dumb Ass" If only we could get paid for being a smart ass...I would be filthy rich!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Teenager induced coma

Damn! why didn't I think of that!
That would have been wonderful.

Oh look my kids now have a mass attitude problem since they joined middle school...oh no I feel dizzy...coma.

What do you mean the kids have grown and moved out?!? but I suddenly feel so much better...and now we have quiet and money...oh well I guess I will be ok now!

Saddish

So saddish, face mangling that has gone baddish. She will always look maddish.

No, seriously, WTF?!?!?!?!

When these people look in the mirror, do they think to themselves "hmmm, I think the lip rings are not enough...I will shave my eyebrows and pencil them in like I am some kind of live anime person. Ahhh there, now I look HOT! " The princess crown just completes the look.

I get it, that they want attention, but wow! lets try to get attention by not looking like a complete freak.


I'm Sorry

Even though the box has a smile this picture makes me feel saddish...yes saddish is a word..now.

I have been so lax that my few followers are starting to poke me, and see if I am still here.
I am...just been a few stressful weeks. I will step up the pace a bit.
My apologies to the loyal.

--Shay