Friday, April 30, 2010

Absolute truth

This is so acurate...
It gets so exhausting to see a girl who weighs about 105 lbs sit and talk about how fat she is.
I am not sure where and when it happened that women suddenly think they have to be bony. Guys usually could care less, unless of course they are waaay over weight, but that goes both ways anyhow.
What we want is a woman who is secure in herself...period. If you have an extra 10-50 what. It is when you are always complaining about being fat and not wearing certain clothes, etc... it gets very tiring.
Maybe it is because I am not so shallow, maybe more men are that superficial and I just don't see it...who knows.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

In light of the previous post

I doubt this was a real ad, but if it were that makes it all the more funny.


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the blackBurberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in twothreatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,


P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!

Shooting Twice

Not a real big gun guy....but I really like this one.
I am guessing that even if you missed with this gun, the point would get across fairly quickly and bad guys would tend to leave right away.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Sexy style...yes YOU NEED A MIRROR!!!
They really need to set some sort of requirements for pants/shorts with writing on the back.
Never in sizes above "big" and never in sizes that fit anyone below 16.
Sorry but a 10 year old wearing stuff written on her ass for people to stare and read is a bit much. Parents who put the clothes on their young children, need a slap wake-up call.

And a woman who is big enough to be out of the sexy range shouldn't try to make us stare at her ass either.

Then to top it all off...the girls who are old enough and attractive enough to wear this stuff...will turn around and get pissed off at you for staring at her.

Whose idea was this anyway? Should guys start wearing sweatpants that say "Big" right over the crotch? A lot of them could get away with the same false advertising as the woman above.

Oooh better yet...."Tasty" or "Stud" or "Meat"
Will never happen for 2 reasons:
Women would be repulsed by this.
"most" men would never in the wildest days wear something that crazy.

So then why is it accepted for females to do so?????

Rant over

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


In celebration to all of the turtles in my backyard..
and my son needs a new wallpaper.. ;)

Is it me or does this turtle just look happy?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Hybrid Mullet

Since I am not face to face with this guy, I will feel free to talk trash about him.
This is a pretty extreme hybrid mullet, the tail mullet but on a bald head. Very bold statement about the level of redneck you aspire to be.
And the overalls just make it perfect!

But someone else can feel free to tell him in person.

It is a tough job

What a horrible job this man has!
Getting paid to press yourself against the rear side of a beautiful kid show woman.
Must just suck to be him.

Size Does Matter

Guys I hate to say it...but size does matter. Ask the little lobster in this pic... who is wishing the big one had tape around his claws.

But I guess you could say the same to women... believe it or not, we don't all like the bony models on TV and in magazines. As a matter of fact I am betting it is a minority of men who like women where you can see ribs and the elbow bones are bigger than the forearms.

I will stop here before I manage to say something stupid...HAH!...I do that all the time why stop now?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

WTF of the week # 22

All I can really say is WTF!?!?!
Even if he takes all of the metal out of his face, between the tattoos, lumps and the holes he will still look baaaad.
Hope his daddy is rich, because I don't see him making 6 figures anywhere, probably not even 5 figures.
So ladies...lets hear your he hot or what?

Heartrate # 12

Bianca Beauchamp....mmmmmm Kind of reminds me of Molly Ringwald in a hot way.
well now my heartrate is up.
Your welcome!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Dear Anonomys

Ok...Ms/Mrs Anonymous,
I do feel I have a few questions from your last comment:
Anonymous said...

Got the mssg. To bad this is stupid too! I've only seen it 600 other times on everyone else’s blogs....Used to come to ur site everyday, but then u started posting like only once or twice a week. So, it started sucking. Didn’t think a grown man would get mad about someone (a female) telling him the truth about his blog. And maybe try to improve a little instead of whining about it.

I am not sure

Please...someone tell me that this is not what it looks like.
Two reasons I really hope it is not...
1 The amount of embarrassment for this girl would be overwhelming.
2 That's just nasty...yes I know it is part of life and all...but it doesn't need to be broadcast.

If you cant see the picture to make it bigger.

I hope she just spilled Koolaid or something.

WTF is that

Even if it were dead, there is no way in hell you could put that thing near me.
I have absolutely no idea what kind of bug that is... it is about the creepiest thing I think i have ever seen.
And to think it can probably fly...aaaaahhhhhhhh
I need to know what country this thing resides, so I know to NEVER go there.

Some explaining needed

The first question which comes to mind is HOW? is someone really that nasty?

Second question....WHY? What is the point of this other than to gross us all out?

Must have been one hell of a drunk night to inspire this one.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Redneck Toilet

For those days where indoor plumbing just is not available!
As rediculous as this is actually very creative.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


This guy must be really "tired" get it....LOL ROFLMAO HAHAHAHA

Looks like he fell "flat"
Life is just "Rolling" over him....ahahahaha

To much pun for one post...

Best Picture ever...

Gee thanks!!! ruin it for the rest of us!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Pissed off in 3...2...1...

My son has a pretty good idea how bad it is to wake up like this.
I can only imagine how bad it sucks.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Rectum Bar

My kind of bar...I hear you have to be a real asshole to go here....LOL

BarRectum, Arsch Bar, Asshole Bar, Bar Anus. While the translations sound different, the form is universally
recognizable. The bar takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the
stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus. While BarRectum is
anatomically correct, the last part of the large intestine has been inflated to a humongous size to hold as many
drinking customers at the bar as possible. The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit.

Gonna hook the colony up!!!

Apparently this colony of ants are tired of slaving all day and they just want to relax.

If they are FIRE ants then they are set .... bad joke i know.

So, if you see a bunch of ants all piled up on one dorito and lying on there backs smiling at the sky, you will now know why.

For that special person

This post is specifically for whoever logged in as a sissy and this is what they wrote...
Anonymous said...


I do hope you enjoy this pic....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


This one just struck me as funny.

Friday, April 9, 2010

You are my sunshine...

My only sunshine, you keep me haaaaappy and warm at night.
When you cover meeeeeee, with your fat rollllllll, so I sleep so tight.

Makeup and sexy shirt gave it just enough to be sexy right?

But the look was ruined by the shoes...oh yeah and the big roll hanging over the skirt.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Cool Mailbox

As the mailman, it would definitely create a weird vibe the first time you put mail in it.
Very nice detail though.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

He Sparkles!!

I Vant to suck your................................blood?
I think even Count Chocula is getting pissed off at what these movies have done to vampires.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Great Video!

I am not real big on posting videos, but this one was worth it!