Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the blackBurberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in twothreatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
AlexP.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
They really need to set some sort of requirements for pants/shorts with writing on the back.
Never in sizes above "big" and never in sizes that fit anyone below 16.
Sorry but a 10 year old wearing stuff written on her ass for people to stare and read is a bit much. Parents who put the clothes on their young children, need a slap wake-up call.
And a woman who is big enough to be out of the sexy range shouldn't try to make us stare at her ass either.
Then to top it all off...the girls who are old enough and attractive enough to wear this stuff...will turn around and get pissed off at you for staring at her.
Whose idea was this anyway? Should guys start wearing sweatpants that say "Big" right over the crotch? A lot of them could get away with the same false advertising as the woman above.
Oooh better yet...."Tasty" or "Stud" or "Meat"
Will never happen for 2 reasons:
Women would be repulsed by this.
"most" men would never in the wildest days wear something that crazy.
So then why is it accepted for females to do so?????
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Even if he takes all of the metal out of his face, between the tattoos, lumps and the holes he will still look baaaad.
Hope his daddy is rich, because I don't see him making 6 figures anywhere, probably not even 5 figures.
So ladies...lets hear your opinions...is he hot or what?
Friday, April 23, 2010
Got the mssg. To bad this is stupid too! I've only seen it 600 other times on everyone else’s blogs....Used to come to ur site everyday, but then u started posting like only once or twice a week. So, it started sucking. Didn’t think a grown man would get mad about someone (a female) telling him the truth about his blog. And maybe try to improve a little instead of whining about it.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
My kind of bar...I hear you have to be a real asshole to go here....LOL
recognizable. The bar takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the
stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus. While BarRectum is
anatomically correct, the last part of the large intestine has been inflated to a humongous size to hold as many
drinking customers at the bar as possible. The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit.