Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Silverfish

I recently heard a story of a girl waking up with one of these crawling on her chest.
She said she watched it crawl away....not me...I would have freaked.
A 300lb man running around the house like a 4 year old girl, flailing my arms and screaming, would not have been a pretty picture.
More power to her and the prehistoric creature.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Drinking is as good as Yoga

Research Confirms that Drinking gives you
the same benefits as Yoga ! ! !

Savasana : Posisition of total relaxation
Salambhasana: Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs and arms

Marjayasana: Position stimulates the midriff area and spinal column

Malasana: Good for ankles and back muscles

Halasana: Excellent for back pain and insomnia

Dolphin: Excellento for the shoulder area, thorax,legs and arms

Balasana: Brings the sensation of peace and calm

Ananda Balasana: Great for massaging the hip area

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana: Calms the brain and heals tired legs

Piyahh!

Whether this is real or a staged presentation, I am guessing that guy actually took one right in the face!
Hard to act that well. He is about to smell the pavement.

Just thought it was a cool looking pic.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Redneck jack stands

That thar is some redneck truck fixin'.

Yarta use some beer kegs to hold yer truck up.
Iont got any empty kegs. Need to drank all this beer to empty them. Yaunt to?
Well shitfire...looky thar...it works!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Douchebags

That is the whole of all the douche pictures over the last 4 years in one single post.
She has the Duckface and Gangsta sign all in one.
He has the New Jersey Guido look and Fake Tan and Physique all in one.
It is perfect....pffft they are still Douchebags Extreme!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Marriage

No kidding!
But in all fairness, after being single for 3+ years...that is not all it is cracked up to be.
There are plusses and minuses on both sides of that coin.
Clean bathroom is a definite plus.
Lack of dishwasher and clothes folder is a minus!

Please forward all hate mail to ItchyRabidDog

Thursday, May 20, 2010

After-Fart

I can't stop laughing at this pic. As soon as I saw the cat's face, i knew the caption.
I hope you guys find this at least half as funny as I do.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...LMAO

Is it done?

Not a huge little dog fan, but little dog is cool as hell.
you can just image him dancing around waiting.
Put some pants and a shirt on him and fall over laughing.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Home


AAAAMEN!!!!!

A tasty cupcake

Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty cupcake. Vincent, ever have a chocolate cupcake with a cherry?

You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?

That must be one helluva a cupcake. He had to look at this picture later and say "damn what was I thinking"

I can't give this poor kid too hard a time, I once gave up the exact same scenario to go and drive a '67 Corvette Stingray Convertible....a little cooler than a cupcake, but still a huge missed opportunity.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

NSFW

Hmm more irony?!? considering where I ....nvm...you did not see that!
Nice day at my house today...I guess I will post this with a time delay so that it appears tomorrow at 5:37 Pacific time.

Yeah that's the ticket!!

Graduaccion

Congrashulachuns! you gradyouated!
Must be a Walmart cake.
How can someone really be that dumb and have a job.
Better than the mispell is the erasure of the extra O.

Well done!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dang it!

Someone beat me to it!
Now I bet she is taken...and I bet the guy is some loser who will smack her around and not treat her right!

Ok I will pass on the twin sister part... Any takers??

This Guy

The credit for this one definitely goes to This Guy

Cartoons I drew on Sticky notes...check it out on facebook!...ok advertisement over....I feel so cheap.

Tell all your friends about MBPL today and recieve 10% off your subscription.
As a bonus You can Join the networked blogs on facebook...the link is on the right side of the page!!!

Join now.....supplies are limited.

Warning: may cause loss of bowel control, nausea, vomiting, you nipples will shrivel up and blacken.

thanks Erik...glad to know I have fans!!

Panic Cakes

Just thought it was funny. Really don't have anything clever to add.
Not that I am really that clever to anyone else, but I certainly amuse myself.

Yeah and I mean that in all senses that it can be taken!

Credit maybe goes to This Guy

Irony?

Seems like the word Irony is used way to often and incorrectly so I hesitate, but I am pretty sure I got it right.

If it is not right....so what....my blog I will post what I want!
Stop yelling at me!!!
Isn't it ironic how irony is ironically used while ironing?

Wow that was ironic.

Heartrate # 13

Sorry guys, I posted a nasty gut check picture and did not follow up with a Heartrate pic.
I am usually good about it, so I decided to make it up by posting one a little bigger in upping the pulse.
Whew...I feel like I ran ten miles...I'm good for the week!
Now I can go eat some unhealthy food to make up the difference.

Friday, May 14, 2010

DYNAM # 4

Do You Need a Mirror....absofrickinglutely!
If she were pregnant, it would still be tacky but semi-understandable....I mean COME ON!!!
Shelly...Shelly....Come on! Come on Shelly!
Ladies I know that a guy with a gut like my own is not an attractive thing, but let me tell you, the above has to be ten times worse. All she had to do was wear a shirt that covers it. There is not a damn thing sexy about showing a gut hanging over your belt. I may have that and it is not sexy, but at least I cover the thing!
I mean COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!
REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

The Sarcasticat

I so want this cat!!!!
He has my attitude all over his face!
"Yeah I will go catch that mouse, then you woke up!"
"Sure those shoes go with that dress...it's your ass that doesn't fit"

He is definitely my new mascot.
The Sarcasticist's Sarcasticat!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Guys beware

This may appear to be a good idea...but heed my warning!
This bird may have seemed to have things under control, but it is a lie.
He probably had the upper hand for about as long as it took for the shutter to snap.
What you do not see is the two hours of crap he took for doing that, and the 6 months of no bees.

For the shortbusers out there... birds and the bees...get it yet? If not, quit reading this blog and go find a much more simple one for you to understand.

WTF of the week # 23

I have seen this picture floating around for a while, so I figured I would throw my 2 cents in.
WTF!?! My first thought was photoshop...then I asked myself why?
All I can think of is Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
Maybe there is a black hole forming in the light fixture and it is pulling his head towards it.
I am guessing it will take all three girls to knit the scarf needed.
Just gets freakier the more I look at it.

Ya think?

The way I see it, the lower sign is unnecessary for two reasons.
Reason 1 .... Duh!
Reason 2 .... if they don't understand reason one and they don't notice the lack of creek, then good riddance. They can be a contestant for the Darwin Awards.
If they are real bright, they will notice that the sign does not say no jumping, only says no diving..so that could be a plus.

Thanks Itchy for the pic.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dog tattooThere would be a great pickup method.
Sad thing is, it has probably really been done.
So I guess I won't bother, I will have to come up with something more original.

Monday, May 10, 2010

It may take you a minute

I absolutely love this ad...
Subtle but not subtle at the same time.
Classic!
Click the picture to make it larger...it may take a few for some to "get it" but it will make sense to you after a minute or so.
And if you are extra slow and still don't get it, read the name of the JPG in your address bar after you have clicked on it.


Sunday, May 9, 2010

Better be photoshopped

I hope like hell this is photoshopped.
It would almost have to be, because I am sure that has to be as illegal as tattooing a minor.
What is wrong with these people?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Joker's mom?

Guy or gal, can't really tell.
Still about one of the scarier pictures I have posted.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Words to live by

But even if he had the chocolate willy, she would change her mind after a while and want him to change it.

Wii Sit

The only Wii game I think I could really get involved in.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Facebook


I have added a whole new Facebook thing.
Since I am sort of Facebookily challenged it took me a while to get it right.
But I believe it is working fine now, so if you have a Facebook account you can add yourself to the Network Blogs Widget/gadget or whatever it is, and you will get my posts automatically put on your Wall. Even if you don't want to join the Network blogs to the right you can click the link above to add me as a friend... Please, I have no friends...I am a lonely pathetic guy trying to drum up some attention.
Plus I need people to join so I feel like I am all important too!!!

Awww poor puppy

I am sure it is photoshopped, but it is funny and sad at the same time.
One lucky squishy dog!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Some of us need this

Where can I buy this??
3 or more times a day is making my job tough.
Sorry guys it was bad Taco Bell last night thats why I am in the bathroom for 30 mins at a "pop"

Just kidding!...relax....I only do it twice a day at work. Now to address the "when I get home" issue.

You other brothers can't deny

Extreme Sir Mix-A-Lot!
Not sure this is what he had in mind.
So does she carry the chair like that as well? Because it certainly is not coming free without alot of help.
But here comes the piss me off portion of today...I can not POSSIBLY weigh as much as this woman...yet I would end up breaking that chair. My kids have endless entertainment watching chairs fold under me and seeing me fall on my ass. Yet this woman has found some miracle chair that supports an ass the size of Canada.
To you chair manufacturers out there I say PISS OFF...I'm going to sue! Mental Distress from my kids laughing at me. I will be rich! then I can buy more McD's and get bigger and sue again!!

Yeah, thats the ticket!

Derp tattoos

Derp derp derp...that is about all i think we could understand when he speaks.
This one could fall under DYNAM or WTF of the week or any other "im a freak" category.
Insert same old questions about the future here:

What is wrong with these people? At what point does he say..."OK that is enough, now it looks good. The disc is as big as I wanted it to be."

I don't think I will ever understand...his parents must be so proud!