Glasses

So true.
Anyone who knows me, will know exactly how true the first one is.
Funny how perspective changes just from a pair of glasses.

Fat and Skinny

I know it is wrong, and bad, and rude....
but I could not help but to instantly recite a childhood poem in my head when I saw this picture:

Fat and Skinny went to bed.
Fat rolled over Skinny's head.
Skinny's dead.

I hope you enjoyed my poetic moment.

Unemployed

Yes I am still unemplyed...and this list strikes me as funny as hell.
So true, so true.

Escpecially number 8.

Goth ?!?

I really do not know much about being Goth or Emo or whatever.

But in my very limited knowledge, I am pretty sure that if you have to announce that you are Goth, then you probably are not.

Get over it, fags!

No one gives a shit anymore...may have been something cutting edge in the 80's but now....it is just annoying.

This brings my second point/question what is the difference between Emo and Goth...Emo did not exsist when I was in school, they were all Goth...

So, are the Emo's the Goth's that the Goth's call fags?
(you may have to read that line more than once to understand it)

Ultimate truth is Goth's were Germans way way back in time...and they did not act like Fags...they were feared.

Personally I think Emo's are the results of screwed up society where people can't even find thier own identities.

In short...STOP IT FAGS! Become an actual useful member of society!

Rant over.

Mornings

This picture sums it up.
That is exactly how I feel in the mornings.

Triplets

There are so many things that I could rant about with these three fags and the hundreds of others like them I have seen on the web, but I will only mention the more obscure point.
Wouldn't you notice that you look exactly like the douche next to you, and even like the third douche?
To me that would be a little bit wierd..more so than all the other douche factors involved, such as tan, eyebrows, hair, earrings, and clothes.
"hey dude! you look just like me...and so does Chad over there, we all look exactly the same...sweeeeet" "now lets make a dumb shit kissy duck face for a picture so we can be complete douches" "oh yeah!, we rock!"

Douche Bags.

The Far Side

It is an old classic that will hold up for all time.
This was one of my favorites by Mr. Larson.
It is too bad that he stopped, but his comics will always be one of the funniest by a longshot.

Well after looking again at the cartoon, I am not sure Gary Larson did this one...if anyone knows who the cartoonist is...polease comment it in here. Everything above still applies though...one of my favorites and Gary Larson was the best.

Sorry Pumbaa

Maybe if Pumbaa did this they would have lasted longer as friends.
Timon is gettin his freak on!
You go boy!

Even more

Not that he was a great looking guy...but he looked better before.
I really want to know what kind of job you can hold looking like this?
I would not be able to help but laugh when talking to him. Watching the big ring bounce with each word would be too hysterical to ignore.

Mmmm....Flub

Apparently I have been going about meeting women all wrong.
Although my big belly is much more solid than that, so I am not sure I could do that even if I wanted to.
Also I am not so sure that a female who would be willing to have a gut placed over thier face is all that worth meeting.
Hope he cleaned out the belly button lint.

Shaving

I guess it is funny...I mean that is what I do when I shave.
Awwww so cute...pfft, will look like me. Not a prettty thing.

Heart Rate #15

Now that is the way to properly wear a pair of blue jeans!!!

I know this is not as revealing or stimulating as some of the past Heartrate's
but I felt this one needed it's due appreciation. Most jeans nowadays seem to flatten a girls ass out way to much, or they have on hip huggers that bag in the ass pocket or show a muffin top.

But not this girl, she is wearing them just right. Kudos to you Missy!!!!

1 Year Slack Ass

The Perf Logs 1 year anniversary passed 14 days ago and I missed it!
Oh well, would you expect any less of me?
I decided the Sarcasticat, as cool as he was, did not really fit the title properly.
Everybody wave goodbye to him...
So I designed a new logo...I like it!

For those that do not know...here is the explanation of Male Bovine Perf Logs...
Male Bovine = Bull ---> for the uneducated
a Perf is a made up word I have heard for a Fart.
So a Perf Log = Fart Log = Shit
MBPL = Bull Shit

Do me a favor and start spreading the word of one of the coolest Blogs out!

Happy Anniversary to the Bull Shit ! ! !

WTF of the week # 27

The Internet never ceases to amaze.
Just when I think I have seen and posted about the freakiest people I could possibly find...I get stunned yet again.
I thought for sure the tiger guy was the most bizarre...then I run into this guy.
I think it is a close one between the two.
Really hope somewhere in the process this guy had his balls removed as well so he will make no more like him...can you imagine if he did have a kid, and being that kid.
"Hey Timmy lets go to your house...."
"uhhhhh no....uhhh my dad is....uhhhhh....just NO!"

Flute Amazingness!

If you haven't noticed by now, i have never posted a "real" video.
But this one had me laugh and amazed all at the same time.
This guy is fantastic...I would buy the album!
Hope you like it.

I can only hope

Maybe when I get older I can look like this guy.
If the tats and nipple piercings were not enough...get a letex/leather body suit!
Oh yeah!, he is the man!!!

Cool cat!

Not good enough to use like a mascot but cool none the less!
Does not have a good sarcasticist face...just looks tired.
And I did not edit and add the cigarette this time.

Sing a long with me....

Which one does not belong...
Which one is not like the others,
Which one does not belong?

Nuff said...and will include as a Heartrate for the others.

WTF of the week # 26

Wow!!!!! Angel wings with fart flames!
How can you possibly top that!

I know,,,add a naked guy trying to enter.

I am truly blown away by this tattoo...I thought I had seen some bad ones...but this bets them all.

Ahh nostalgia

For all of you who have never heard of, or tried this...they are the best!
A bit sticky but well worth it.... Heck what isn't worth it that isn't sticky!?!?

Since this post does not fall under ANY of my tags, it means it is to weak for the blog...sorry I will do better in 5 mins.

New flavor

Mmmmmm, I bet this is good.
A little gamey I can ony imagine.

And before anyone feels the urge to tell me that it is not real and they know the flavor...we all know, if you think you just discovered something we didn't...get off the internet...NOW!

Farmville

Yes, I am a farmville/frontierville/casino city dork.
So if you would like to join my dorkness....click here and add me --> Facebook

Also on the right column of my blog is a place to click to follow the blog through facebook and join my tens of followers!

Looking for 3000 friends...so far I have like 4...almost there!!

I know this is a shameless plug...but hey, it is my blog so piss off if you don't like it.

Make your own blog so you can not plug stuff.

Dunno...

It just made me laugh.
As do all fart jokes, because contrary to popular belief....Farts are Funny!
2 month old babies will laugh at a fart!
It is society that has made them an unaccepted deal. Sure they stink sometimes, and in that case please excuse yourself, but by all means leave the bathroom door open so you may share the sounds with us.
I believe colon cancer is caused by holding in farts...stale air and uptight ass causes cancer!
So fart away!
FARTS ARE FUNNY!

Wooo, taking it to a new level.

You are all welcome for this one.
If only you could unsee it now.
LOL!!!!